I’m not very good at math, due to some kind of dyslexia. I rarely have enough cash in my purse to count, so understanding the articles I tried to read about Dubai’s debt, since the 2009 financial crisis, was a no-no.

It seems, the emirate is “on its way to completing $34bn in debt restructuring, largely to a policy of ‘bail out bondholders, burn the banks.’”

One I did understand was a June 10 article in UAE online news site Emirates 24/7, saying there were one million traffic offenses in Dubai since the beginning of the year.

Around 205,000 offences were recorded by the emirate’s traffic police in January; 215,000 in February; 231,000 in March; and 225,000 in April. May recorded the lowest number of traffic offences of around 164,000, nearly 16 percent below those in the previous month.

Emirates 24/7 adds, “In May, speed offences, detected mostly by police fixed and mobile cameras, totaled around 89,000 while there were about 7,000 parking violations, 6,482 seatbelt offences and 603 fines for jumping the red lights.”

The above figures seem massive to me, but here are a few simple ways I think could wipe out Dubai’s debt burden in a couple of weeks:

- Fine every car that doesn’t signal
- Fine every car that doesn’t put its lights on at dusk/night
- Fine every car that has its headlights on for no reason
- Fine taxis that wreak havoc on the city’s streets
- Fine the companies of “white van man” that break all the road rules
- Fine drivers using mobile phones
- Fine joy drivers on Jumeirah Beach Road on weekends

Voilà!

The above will also save a lot of lives. And you’re welcome.

If you can think of others ways, do share.